Officers for 2016:
The other day I was in the local auto parts store. A lady came in and asked for a seven ten cap.
We all looked at each other and one of the service guys asked, "What's a seven ten cap?" She replied, "You know, it's right on the engine. Mine got lost somehow and I need a new one."
"What kind of car do you drive?" another guy asked. (Thinking that perhaps she drove an old Datsun Seven Ten.) The lady replied, "I drive a Buick." We asked her how big is the cap. She made a circle with her hands about 3 1/2 inches in diameter.
"What does it do?" asked one of the service guys. She replied, "I don't know, but it's always been there."
One of the guys gave her a note pad and asked her if she could draw a picture of it. So she made a circle about 3 1/2 inches in diameter and in the center she wrote 710.
As she was drawing, the guys behind the counter looked at it upside down and they fell behind the counter laughing their heads off.
(Directions: Draw a circle and write 710 in the center. Now look at it upside down.) Dope slap!
Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.
The Italian Customs agent stops them and says, "It's illegal to put 5 people in a Quattro."
"What do you mean it's illegal?" ask the Englishmen.
"Quattro means four," replies the Italian official.
"Quattro is just the name of the automobile," the Englishmen retort disbelievingly. "Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons."
"You can't pull that one on me," replies the Italian customs agent. "Quattro means four. You have five people in your car and you are therefore breaking the law."
The Englishmen replies angrily, "You idiot! Call your supervisor over—I want to speak to someone with more intelligence!"
"Sorry," responds the Italian official, "he can't come. He's busy with 2 guys in a Fiat Uno.
The Ford Thunderbird was a car manufactured in the United States by the Ford Motor Company. It entered production for the 1955 model year as a two-seater sporty car but, unlike the similar Chevrolet Corvette, the Thunderbird was never sold as a full-blown sports car. Ford described it as a personal luxury car, a description which named a new market segment. In 1958, the Thunderbird gained a second row of seats. Succeeding generations became larger until the line was downsized in 1977 and again in 1980. Sales were good until the 1990s, when large 2-door coupes became unpopular; production ceased after 1997. In 2002, a revived 2-seat model was launched, which was available through the end of the 2005 model year.
Eleventh generation (2002–2005)
2002–2005 Ford Thunderbird
After being on hiatus for several years, Ford introduced a new Thunderbird for 2002. Returning to the original formula for the Thunderbird, the latest version had a two-seat coupe/convertible layout like the first-generation Thunderbird and retrofuturistic styling to match. The eleventh generation Thunderbird was built at Ford's Wixom Assembly Plant and was based on the company's DEW98 platform, which was shared with the Lincoln LS and Jaguar S-Type. Though the Thunderbird's exterior styling was very much unique relative to its platform mates, the interior, particularly the appearance of the dash area, instrument panel, and steering wheel, was very similar to that of the Lincoln LS. The sole engine of the Thunderbird was a Jaguar-designed AJ-30 3.9 L DOHC V8, a short-stroke (85mm) variant of the Jaguar AJ-26 4.0 L V8, making 252 horsepower (188 kW) and 267 lb·ft (362 N·m) of torque. The engine was mated to Ford's 5R55N 5-speed automatic transmission. The AJ-30 V8 was replaced by the AJ-35 in 2003 and later Thunderbirds, bringing with it variable valve timing (VVT) and electronic throttle control (ETC) as well as 280 horsepower (210 kW) and 286 lb·ft (388 N·m) of torque. Complementing the extra power and torque provided by the AJ-35 V8, a manual shift feature for the 5-speed automatic called SelectShift was available as an option in 2003 and later Thunderbirds. With sales dropping off significantly after its first model year, Ford decided to make the 2005 model year the Thunderbird's last with no scheduled successor.
The last one rolled off the assembly line on July 1, 2005.
1955-1957 "Classic Birds" or "Little Birds"
1958-1960 "Square Birds"
1961-1963 "Bullet Birds"
1964-1966 "Flair Birds"
1967-1971 "Glamour Birds"
1972-1976 "Big Birds"
1977-1979 "Torino Birds"
1980-1982 "Box Birds"
1983-1988 "Aero Birds"
1989-1997 "Super Birds"
2002-2005 "Retro Birds *