Officers for 2014:
Magistrate: ‘But if you saw the lady driving towards you, why didn’t you give her half the road?’
Motorist: ‘I was going to, Your Honour, as soon as I could find out which half she wanted.’
Mike and Frank driving on a street, in different directions. Out of some unfortunate mishap, the cars slammed into each other, head-on. The two men were able to get out of their cars without any serious injury, but the cars were totaled.
Before Frank could say anything, Mike said, “Instead of fighting over whose fault it was, why don’t we just celebrate that we were able to come out alive?”
Frank said, “Yeah, good idea!”
“I have a bottle of whisky in the trunk, why don’t I pull that out?” suggested Mike. He went around, and luckily the bottle was not damaged in the accident. He gave it to Frank and said, “Here, drink some!”
Frank took the bottle and chugged half of it down.
Then he wiped his mouth and handed the bottle over to Mike. “Here, you have some!”
Mike passed it back and said, “Nah, I think I’ll wait until the police get here.”
A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. The following week she asked each child in turn what he or she had learned.
Susie said, “He was born in a manger.”
Bobby said, “He threw the money changers out of the temple.”
Little Johnny said, “He has a red pickup truck but he doesn’t know how to drive it.”
Curious, the teacher asked, “And where did you learn that, Johnny?”
“From my Daddy,” said Johnny. “Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, ‘Jesus Christ! Why don’t you learn how to drive?’”
The Ford Thunderbird was a car manufactured in the United States by the Ford Motor Company. It entered production for the 1955 model year as a two-seater sporty car but, unlike the similar Chevrolet Corvette, the Thunderbird was never sold as a full-blown sports car. Ford described it as a personal luxury car, a description which named a new market segment. In 1958, the Thunderbird gained a second row of seats. Succeeding generations became larger until the line was downsized in 1977 and again in 1980. Sales were good until the 1990s, when large 2-door coupes became unpopular; production ceased after 1997. In 2002, a revived 2-seat model was launched, which was available through the end of the 2005 model year.
Eleventh generation (2002–2005)
2002–2005 Ford Thunderbird
After being on hiatus for several years, Ford introduced a new Thunderbird for 2002. Returning to the original formula for the Thunderbird, the latest version had a two-seat coupe/convertible layout like the first-generation Thunderbird and retrofuturistic styling to match. The eleventh generation Thunderbird was built at Ford's Wixom Assembly Plant and was based on the company's DEW98 platform, which was shared with the Lincoln LS and Jaguar S-Type. Though the Thunderbird's exterior styling was very much unique relative to its platform mates, the interior, particularly the appearance of the dash area, instrument panel, and steering wheel, was very similar to that of the Lincoln LS. The sole engine of the Thunderbird was a Jaguar-designed AJ-30 3.9 L DOHC V8, a short-stroke (85mm) variant of the Jaguar AJ-26 4.0 L V8, making 252 horsepower (188 kW) and 267 lb·ft (362 N·m) of torque. The engine was mated to Ford's 5R55N 5-speed automatic transmission. The AJ-30 V8 was replaced by the AJ-35 in 2003 and later Thunderbirds, bringing with it variable valve timing (VVT) and electronic throttle control (ETC) as well as 280 horsepower (210 kW) and 286 lb·ft (388 N·m) of torque. Complementing the extra power and torque provided by the AJ-35 V8, a manual shift feature for the 5-speed automatic called SelectShift was available as an option in 2003 and later Thunderbirds. With sales dropping off significantly after its first model year, Ford decided to make the 2005 model year the Thunderbird's last with no scheduled successor.
The last one rolled off the assembly line on July 1, 2005.
1955-1957 "Classic Birds" or "Little Birds"
1958-1960 "Square Birds"
1961-1963 "Bullet Birds"
1964-1966 "Flair Birds"
1967-1971 "Glamour Birds"
1972-1976 "Big Birds"
1977-1979 "Torino Birds"
1980-1982 "Box Birds"
1983-1988 "Aero Birds"
1989-1997 "Super Birds"
2002-2005 "Retro Birds *
*Source: wikipedia encyclopedia